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: There is a lingerie party at the sushi restaurant. I dismissed that, but my mind was still racing; I couldn't figure out what could be wrong, so I said, "What did you do to my dick? The expression on her face immediately gave it away: "Oh my god-did you just throw up on my dick? Even before I made the term "dotting her eyes" famous, I was a fan of giving the facial. Needless to say, there were no more facials for her.
Not wanting to either go back to my table or eat at the bar, I walk across the street to a sushi restaurant. My first thought was that she had given me some crazy hybrid VD that made my discharge all thick and chunky. Bull's-eye The next incident was a few years later, in college, right after I had discovered the art of coming on a girl's face. it's burning." I helped her scoop most of it out of her eye and, both of us still naked and sweaty, lied her into the bathroom where she washed her eye out for a good five minutes. I called her "Red Eye" for the next few hours, until she got mad and refused to ever give me head again. She forgave me until she realized that she had ejaculate in her hair and had to wash it twice to get it all out.
My law school friends get a separate mention, not only because they've had to put up with more shit from me than almost anyone, but because more than half these stories wouldn't exist without them playing the foils: PWJ (he gets two mentions), Sling Blade, Hate, Credit, Jo Jo, Golden Boy, El Bingeroso, Jon Benet, and Carolyn (my first year roommate). They think energy healing is a real science because the instructor of the girl's class went to Harvard. Upset that I'm only at .09 after a good hour and a half of aggressive drinking, I decide to do a round of shots. Betty was a master of her craft, and especially loved going Down on me.
In a very real way, these guys helped mold the person I am today. One guy calls it a "legitimate, certifiable science," while making air quotes with his fingers. : I have completely tuned out their inane conversation. I let the women pick the shots, with the explicit instruction that it cannot be whiskey, cannot smell like whiskey, cannot even resemble whiskey (I once went to the ER drinking whiskey, but I don't tell them this). She was hitting the crescendo of her well-conducted Symphony of knob-slobbing, but right before I felt myself let loose into Her mouth, the door to her house opened.
Though not as accurate as a blood test, they are accurate to within .01, which is good enough for my purposes. I consider checking my BAC, but doubt that it would show anything thus far. I am pretty sure she was engaged, but it wasn't to any of my friends, so I didn't care.
I was living in Boca Raton, Florida, when I bought one to take out with me on a Saturday night. I am the first one of the group there, even though our reservations are for 9pm. : Two 30 year-old Jewish women on my left keep eyeing me. The girl did a pretty decent job sucking me off, especially considering how much I drank, and I finished in her mouth.
: I pause while unzipping my pants, wondering what type of underwear, if any, I have on. I realize that getting food quickly is more crucial than my dignity. This confused me because even though I was close to coming, I didn't think I had actually achieved orgasm.All Kensington titles, imprints, and distributed lines are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fundraising, educational, or institutional use. Friends like this are beyond rare; they are priceless in the truest sense of the word. class about the rate of alcohol absorption being constant, regardless of speed of drinking. If the spotlight is not shining directly on me, I feel small inside. As the thought of having to hitchhike 45 miles walked through my mind, she appeared out of the bathroom. Thinking fast, I put my pants on the sofa and "romantically" whisked her into her bedroom, where I had to fuck her at least 3 or 4 times to get her to go to sleep.Special book excerpts or customized printings can also be created to fit specific needs. Nils Parker (aka Drunkasaurusrex)-I would call him the Robin to my Batman, but that underestimates the importance that his contributions make. Donika Miller-It's hard to describe why Donika has been so important to my development as a writer. I haven't ordered another drink since I blew a .04. This memory quickly fades when two hot girls at the table next to me inquire about my portable breathalyzer. She begins telling me a story about how she got pulled over once for DUI, and had to blow into something like this, and the cop let her off. Hot girl #2 is apparently smart enough to detect thinly veiled sarcasm. : The people at my table begin talking about energy healing. Once she was safely out, I snuck out of her room and flipped the cushion. Blowjob Betty Those incidents were from back when I was young and cared about Things like feelings and emotions. I was laying on my back and I looked down and saw what looked like A LOT of splooge. One night she was doing a pretty good job and I got very enthused with my hip thrusts when I felt a warm, wet sensation on my crotch.